cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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