my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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