Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
