Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
