This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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