so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
