Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
do herpes really smell.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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