...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize