My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
