i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
