I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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