OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
