ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
