I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
