Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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