I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
NoShamevember. You game?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Holy sore nipples Batman
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
