You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
