we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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