p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
