can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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