Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize