She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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