Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
