At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hippo gnu deer
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize