I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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