I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
