i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
