you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And then he peed in my hair
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