seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
