can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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