It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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