I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
