ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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