We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
