did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
