I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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