I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
