There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
