My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
