I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
