You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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