im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
