I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
