Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
