i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
