Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
