Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
