you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize