he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
