she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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