she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
