Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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