I am puke
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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