So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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