so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
