Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
