what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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