The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
