she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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