It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
