i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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