yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
