Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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