I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize